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Because I'm not really homesick anymore I just wish I had this all here

May. 21st, 2006 | 08:59 pm

It's interesting the things that make home feel so very far away.

I miss Vicki and calling her for no reason, driving around smoking too much and giggling at everyone, just knowing that even though we'd only known each other a short time that we'd always have a place for each other and sharing rights even if no one else got them. It's amazing to me that I love someone as much as I love her without it having ever been a sexual thing.

I miss not having to say anything to Simon and just have him hug me when I need it, I miss screaming obscenities at him that no one believed I meant... I miss him being simultaneously the nicest and most evil person I know. I hate that he couldn't tell me he was going away.

I miss being able to roll my eyes, order a pint and cuddle up to Matt. Even when we disappear out of each other's lives for months at a time it never feels like that when we're back together. I miss giggling with Jahn and dancing in unison, just knowing that other people wondered how we did it and then laughing at other people trying to copy it. I miss that grand old smile I get whenever he rings because it doesn't matter whether we see each other often, or where we live... when we're together it's fun and communal and just so right.

I miss the sense of community of my old house, even with its cleaning horror and fights over stupidity... I miss cuddling under a doona watching cartoons, sharing oreos and drugs and just feeling at home.

I miss that total sense of belonging, sitting on a side walk on Brunswick St while a hundred goths, ravers, mediaevalists, actors, corporates, hippies and everything in between wave, chat and giggle with me on their merry adventures on a Friday night.

I miss collapsing on the stairs at Slimelight, grinning with Richard and giggling with Reagan. I miss 8am crawls off the couch in search of more substances in any of 20 houses around the world.

It's funny... I feel like my own person again, but I miss the moments I share. You all mean so much to me, I have so many fond memories... here's hoping for more.

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